Saeble's Random Anime Family
by Kekuze
Summary: Saeble is stuck with a very weird family, very weird neighbors, and very weird enemies. How will things work out? And more importantly, what is the Serpent War? (This story contains characters from many other animes) ...Rated T just in case...
1. Of Family and Enemies

Hello! It is Saeble, who is one-third of Kekuze. I would like to say that I own no anime characters mentioned in this story. I only own Saeble. And if you want an explanation as to how this whole thing got started, see "Luck of the Draw", also under Kekuze.

Now I think I'll mention all the family relations and jobs and such…

_(((Families and relations subject to change throughout the course of the story.)))_

* * *

Saeble: A fireman (She'll have her work cut out for her with people like Flame and Roy)

Husband: Armbrust (Kiddy Grade)

Brother: Tolle (Gundam Seed)

Sister: Ayeka (Tenchi Muyo)

Brother-in-law: Shigure (Fruits Basket)

Sister-in-law: Kagura (Inuyasha)

Father: Kenshin (Ruroni Kenshin) The Tooth Fairy

Mother: Lumiere (KG)

Uncle: Darcia (Wolf's Rain) Assistant Teacher

Aunt: Éclair (KG) not married to Darcia

Grandpa: Tweedledum (KG) was once a king

Grandma: Mihoshi (Tenchi) was once a body builder

Male cousin: Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)

Female cousin: Akito (FB) Akito's female in the manga

Male pet: Jet (Cowboy Bebop)

Female pet: Sango (IY)

Son: Chrono (Chrono Crusade) He runs away .;

Daughter: Kikyo (IY)

Chrono's girlfriend: Diverge (KG)

Kikyo's boyfriend: Alex Luis Armstrong (FMA) We call him Mr. Clean or Major Spaz

Best friend: Shu (Gravitation)

Armblast's best friend: Crim (.hack/sign)

Shu's girlfriend: Lt. Badgeral (GS)

Crim's girlfriend: Alv (KG)

Hiei's girlfriend: Faye (CB)

Akito's boyfriend: Shugo (.hack)

Neighbor #1: Criff (Infinite Ryvius)

Neighbor #2: Sasami (Tenchi)

Neighbor #3: Kagome (IY)

Neighbor #4: Dextera (KG)

Enemy: Sano (Ruroni Kenshin)

Sano's wife: unknown-divorced

Sano's son: Shippo (IY)

Sano's other son: Hiro (FB)

Sano's mom: Spike (CB)

Sano's dad: Al (FMA)

Sano's cousin: Sesshoumaru (IY)

Sano's other cousin: Hughes (FMA)

* * *

"Honey! I'm home!" chirped Armbrust as he entered the house. 

"Don't call me that!" snapped Saeble, "I've been home all day watching our kids! Chrono has been hanging gout with a nun, and Kikyo has been in her room all day long plotting an evil way to get revenge on this guy named Inuyasha because he dumped her for our neighbor Kagome. Kikyo has enlisted the help of your sister Kagura to help! And to make matters worse, my father's friend, Sano, has become my enemy! And my sister Ayeka, is in love with Kyra's FATHER! Plus your brother has been hitting on Flame's daughter!" Saeble was gasping for breath by this time.

"Well that's good," Armbrust had hardly been listening, "Today at work, I was escorted around by your mother and aunt again. It was a normal day. Man, your aunt can kick butt!"

Saeble twitched, "What's that supposed to mean!"

"Oh! Nothing at all!"

"Mom! I'm going over to Diverge's house!" yelled Chrono.

"Sure, just be sure to feed the pets before you go!" replied Saeble.

"Okay Mom!" said Chrono. He was actually planning on going to visit Rosette, the nun, the wife of Kyra's sworn enemy. Chrono put some pet food into Jet and Sango's bowls and skipped away.

Jet came barreling in, threw himself face first into his bowl, and started wolfing down his food. Sango walked over more elegantly and started to nibble out of her own bowl.

Tolle walked down the stairs and said to Saeble, "I'm going over to see Mariella! I'll be back by dinner time, sis!"

"Isn't Mariella married?" asked Armbrust.

"Yes, to Jaken," answered Saeble, walking off to the kitchen.

* * *

"First I'm going to step on him, and then I'm going to kill him," mumbled Sesshoumaru to himself. 

"What are you talking about? Plotting to kill Saeble I hope?" asked his cousin, and Saeble's arch enemy, Sano.

"No," muttered Sesshoumaru.

"Daddy!" called out Shippo.

"**Whatdoya want now**!" screamed Sano.

"I'm going over to play with Inuyasha!"

"Get outta here you pest! Now for you, Mr. I-don't-plot-against-the-same-person-as-Sano!"

Then Hiro, the sheep of the zodiac, walked in. "You are so childish. I'm ashamed to have you as a father. Heck, I'm sure **anyone** would be ashamed to have you as aa father," said Hiro, rolling his eyes.

"Hey! I don't nee your lip now, Mr. Sarcastic!"

Hughes then walked in the door, "Hey there Sano! Did you know that your parents just pulled up?"

"What!" exclaimed Sano. His eyes widened in what was either shock or fear. Probably both, seeing as who his parents are…

"Oh Sano! Have you been good? Where are my darling grandchildren?" squealed Spike with sparkles in his eyes.

Al walked in, "Hey there Son!"

* * *

"Oh daughter Saeble!" called Kenshin in a sing-song voice, "Your mother and I just thought we would drop in for a visit, that we did!" 

Lumiere walked in and put her hand on Kenshin's shoulder, "Where are our grandchildren? Chrono and Kikyo?"

Saeble replied, "Well, Chrono went to his girlfriend's house and Kikyo is plotting with my husband's sister to get vengeance on some person named Inuyasha."

"Mom!" called Kikyo from upstairs.

"What is it Kikyo?" said Saeble.

"Where are my evil serpents?" asked Kikyo, coming down the stairs.

Then, out of no where, Jet came rushing into the room. He was being swarmed by Kikyo's serpents. Jet let out a cry of anger and grabbed a dining room chair. He started to swing the chair around, but the serpents still continued to swarm.

"Armbrust honey? Could you please calm Jet down?" asked Saeble sweetly.

"Why me?" whined Armbrust. But with one death-glare from Saeble, he marched towards the battle scene, armed with his briefcase. He stopped short and turned to Saeble's mother, "Miss Lumiere, would you mind giving me a hand?"

Lumiere smiled kindly, "Of course I wouldn't." She walked up to join Armbrust.

Then Éclair smashed through a window and joined Armbrust and Lumiere without a second thought.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get that!" chirped Shigure, who had been awakened from a nap by the recent events.

Shigure opened the door, hoping to find a cute girl scout, or other high school girl, but instead he found an impassive looking dog demon.

"I am Sesshoumaru. I am here to get Kikyo. Tell her Kagura is waiting on the feather."

Shigure looked very disappointed, "Oh… you're no high school girl…alright… KIKYO! Your boyfriend is here!"

"Huh? Major Spaz is here?" Kikyo came to the door.

Sesshoumaru twitched, "I am no Spaz."

Kikyo stared at the white haired dog demon, "Hey… you're not Major Spaz…"

Shigure yawned and went to go watch the Serpent Battle. Saeble came to the door, "Oh! Who are you?" she questioned.

"I am Sesshoumaru a cousin of Sano."

"SANO! My arch-enemy Sano?"

"How many idiots named Sano are there in the world," droned Sesshoumaru.

"True… so…are you on Sano's side?"

"No. He's an idiotic stickman."

Saeble smiled and hugged Sesshoumaru. He took a step back in shock. A second later, the dog demon pushed Saeble away with his right hand. (His ONLY hand…)

Saeble still had a smile on her face as she hopped back to the Room of the Serpent Battle.

"Hey Armbrust! Guess what! We're getting a divorce!" announced Saeble, rater happily.

"Wha-? But I'm going to fight our daughter's evil serpents for you!" pleaded Armbrust.

"SO! I love Sesshoumaru! Not you!"

"Well then I'm going to get together with your aunt Éclair!" yelled back Armbrust.

Back at the door, Kikyo was staring at Sesshoumaru, "So… are you going to be my new father?"

Sesshoumaru stared at Kikyo in silence. He turned towards the awaiting feather. "Let's just go embarrass Inuyahsa. If we're lucky, we'll be able to get Jaken as well."

"Alrighty!" chirped Kikyo.


	2. Of Waffles and Stolen Racecars

I don't own any anime characters mentioned in here. I do own Saeble thank you very much.

* * *

"What!" Saeble exclaimed.

"That's what he said! Chrono said he was going to live with Rosette!" cried Saeble's neighbor, Sasami.

"Oh, well she IS a nun so I don't have to worry bout anything," pointed out Saeble.

Then Sesshoumaru, Kagura, and Kikyo walked in the front door.

"So, when are we going to try again?" asked Kikyo, looking to Sesshoumaru.

The dog demon shook his head, "Those events will not be spoken of from now on."

"Sesshoumaru!" exclaimed Saeble.

"Yes..." said the dog demon, unsure of what was coming.

"Are you really a clown? Because I love clowns!" yipped Saeble. She hugged the dog demon again.

"It's not polite to make fun of someone's job, Saeble," said Sesshoumaru.

"Well I'm a fireman. And I'm not a man. So technically I would be a fire-girl, or maybe a fire-women, or something like that. I don't know!" sobbed Saeble.

"Why not just call yourself a fire lady…" mumbled Sesshoumaru.

Saeble gasped and drew away from the dog demon. "Se- Sesshoumaru…" she stuttered.

Sesshoumaru's eyes were as impassive as ever, but he was a little confused as to why Saeble was acting the way she was.

"Thank you for the great idea Sesshoumaru! From now on… I will be known as Saeble, The Fire Lady!" exclaimed Saeble.

Sesshoumaru backed away, "Well, I have to be getting to work now…" The dog demon walked out the door.

All of a sudden, a bright red race car skidded to a stop right in front of the Lord of the Western Lands. The door swung open, and out popped Sano, waving a giant waffle in the air.

"My breakfast was interrupted!" screamed Sano. With his eyes nearly bulging out of his head, "My stupid son Shippo turned on the TV and I saw news caster Crim and he said that he knew for a fact that Sesshoumaru had been planning on marrying Saeble! And he can't do that because SHE is my enemy! If my cousin were to marry my arch-enemy, then it would be horrible! I would kill myself!"

Sesshoumaru kept his impassive face, "I'd provide the weapon."

"That's not very nice!" yelled Sano.

Saeble then came out to see what all the noise was about, "NO one is breaking is breaking anything, are they?"

"YOU!" Sano screamed in anger.

"Ooo… an angry yell… why does that sound so darn familiar," pondered Saeble.

Then Armbrust smashed through a window and landed in the yard. He sat up, coughed, and said, "The War of the Serpents has started!"

"What are you still doing here!" demanded Saeble.

"Well we were just leaving!" he yelled back.

"Get outta here!" retorted Saeble.

"Fine! But I'm leaving with your aunt! Let's go Éclair!" said Armbrust.

"Then I take that as permission to marry Sesshoumaru!"

"No!" whined Sano, "You can't marry my cousin! That's just too weird! We're enemies!"

"Too dang bad! Sesshoumaru and I are going to get married and then we are going at adopt poor little Sasami!"

Sesshoumaru was starring at Saeble with a slight look of disbelief; nevertheless, he made no objections.

* * *

In the room of the Serpent Battle, the actual battle was just heating up. Kenshin had now drawn his reverse blade sword and taken his spot next to his wife, Lumiere. Éclair on the other hand, had, by now, leapt out the window she had originally leapt in from.

She landed next to Armbrust and helped him up. "Let's get outta here," said Éclair. Armbrust smiled and nodded.

Éclair walked calmly over to the bright red racecar and grabbed Sano by the back of his neck. She used her super-human strength and threw him fifteen feet away. Éclair got into the drivers seat of the car and motioned for Armbrust to get into the passenger's seat. Armbrust scrambled to get into the car and made it just in time before Éclair slammed her foot down on the accelerator. Sano's bright red race car sped off into the distance.

"NOOOOOOO!" cried Sano, reaching in the direction that his car had vanished, "I can't be a racecar driver without my very own racecar…"

"Shut the hell up. Your whining is giving me headache," droned Sesshoumaru.

"I agree with Sesshie," said Saeble.

"Oh, of course you would! You are a traitor to the family Sesshoumaru!" screeched Sano.

"Like I care about the family of a scarecrow…" said Sesshoumaru, rolling his eyes. "Besides," he added, "I have a new family here." And with that, the dog demon turned and walked inside. He hadn't forgotten about his job, but he just didn't feel like dealing with anymore crazy people like Vicious the make-up artist and Roy the hair designer.

Saeble stuck her tongue out at Sano and followed Sesshoumaru inside.

Sano glared more evilly than he had ever glared before and whispered to himself, "This is war Saeble… this is **war**…"

* * *

Darcia growled as the door to the secret cavern opened, "What took you so damn long, Hughes?"

Hughes threw his hand sup into the air, "Don't shoot the messenger, but Sesshoumaru is on your niece's side now. Rumor is, they're married… but how can that be! I wasn't even invited to the wedding! And I'm Sesshoumaru's own brother!"

Darcia glared at Hughes, who then took a few steps back. Darcia was about to say something when they were interrupted by a female voice calling out, "Daddy! Daddy where are you?"

Akito came barging in and flipped on the light switch. Darcia, Aktio's father, hissed and recoiled into the corner.

Akito put her hands on her hips, "Dad! I can't do your job forever you know!"

Darcia stood up and dusted himself off, "I'll pay you extra if you watch them until they're picked up."

"No dad! I'm going over to my best friend's house!"

"Miss Badger-something-or-other?"

"Lt. Badgeral!"

"Whatever…" said Darcia, rolling his eyes.

Akito sighed, " Well I'm leaving now, and you don't want the kids to sticking their metal forks into the power socket again, do you?" Akito then turned and left.

Darcia growled. He hated his job. He hated it with a passion. The blue haired Nobel walked down to the end of the hallway. Only now was he aware that Hughes had followed him…

"Are you good with kids?" asked Darcia.

"Well I guess so, why?" replied Hughes.

Darcia's eyes narrowed He stopped at a door at the very end of the hallway. Slowly, he raised his hand up to a small rectangular button. He pushed it. The door opened to reveal fourteen very wild looking toddlers, some of whom were literally bouncing off the walls. There was colored paper torn up all over and wooden blocks were flying across the room every which way. One child was dressed up as a goose, and a few other were singing a song in the language of the mole people. All of the other kids were screaming at the top of their lungs and running in circles for no reason at all. Every so often, two of the children would run head first into one another.

Hughes tried to back away but was caught by the color by Darcia.

"Where in the world do you think you're going?" asked Darcia.

"Um, well, I have my own daughter to look after thanks, my darling Alicia," said Hughes as he gulped.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere Hughes, you're going to suffer through this with me," whispered Darcia.

"B-but why me?" demanded Hughes.

"Because my own son won't help, Hiei has his own job anyway. And you are lucky enough to be the only one around," answered Darcia, keeping his eyes on the untamed children.

"Hiei has a job? Do you mind telling me what that is?" asked Hughes, trying to get his mind off babysitting.

"He's a florist."

* * *

Well, there you have it! Chapter 2!

Next Chapter: Jet, the cause of the Serpent Battle, gets distracted, but by what? Sano had a cell phone that matched his stolen racecar and didn't even know it! And what will become of Shigure when he tries to sneak past all the fighting to get to the kitchen?


End file.
